


I’m Here Now

by jihoonbeingsoft



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, I don’t know grammar, M/M, Marvel robbed us, if clint went back to save pietro, oops sorry I really thought there wasn’t going to be any, sorry - Freeform, the other are mentioned tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihoonbeingsoft/pseuds/jihoonbeingsoft
Summary: (Clint’s point of view~First person point of view)What if Clint tested the time machine but instead of bringing his son’s baseball glove he brought back Pietro.(Marvel robbed us good and you know it)





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So this is like my 2nd story. Just to be clear I don’t know anything about grammar so that’s my bad. Also I’m pissed at marvel because they could’ve brought Pietro back I’m MaD. Anyways hope you like it and any kudos and comments are welcomed (or whatever they say here *shrugs*)

Here I go I guess. 

Scott was I guess too _scared_ to try out the time travel machine so I decided to try it.

“Okay so we’re going to send you back to Sokovia when we were fighting Ultron” Bruce said. I nodded as acknowledgement.

 _Fuck_ why did I agree to this I’m just as _scared_ as Scott was when he had the suit on. Whatever I just have to calm down and get ready to test this out.

“Three two one” I hear Bruce counting down while I brace myself. I see him hit a button and I feel myself shrink and shrink down. I get zapped out of the room and it’s like I’m going through a blue tunnel I mean isn’t it _kinda like that_.

I see the suit calculating me where I have to go to get to Sokovia.

Then I pop out of nowhere. I can feel myself start to panic and I’m panting because of what just happened. I look around where I’m at as I start to calm down.

This can’t be I’m in _Sokovia_ exactly when Ultron started attacking.

I can’t help myself but think of when _**Pietro**_ had run into all those bullets to protect me and the kid I had in my arms.

I couldn’t deal with it being my fault for his death so I honored him by naming my 3rd kid’s middle name be _Pietro_.

All I can think about is the kid I have to get the kid out of danger before Pietro sacrifices himself for me. I run as fast as I can to find the kid and get him to safety. Luckily I find him in no time and keep him and his mother a safe distance.

I turn around to see if anyone else is there and I see him. I couldn’t help myself but run after him. He sees me running towards him and he beats me to it.

“Hey there old man” he says while smiling. Fuck I couldn’t help myself but hug him. I felt him stiffen as I hugged him but the longer we stayed like that he melted into it. _But it’s all my fault that he isn’t with Wanda any more it’s all my fault_. “I’m sorry for everything” I muttered. He tilted his head in confusion while also furrowing his brows. “You did nothing wrong Clint. What do you mean” he asked in confusion.

That’s when I heard the beeping of the gadget that Stark created. This can’t be the end with him I can’t let him die again. That’s when let go of the hug and hold his hand tightly.

But before I can say goodbye and let go forever. I feel myself getting sucked back in blue tunnel and see myself in the Avengers tower. Everyone’s faces are in _shock_ while looking at me.

I look down at my hand to see that they’re still intertwined with Pietro’s. _**Fuck what did I do.**_

“Well I guess the time travel machine works” I said. But it doesn’t help everyone is still _shocked_ that _Pietro_ is here and **_ALIVE_**.

I turn to look at him an I see _panic_ in his eyes. “Hey hey hey it’s alright just calm down we’ll explain this to you in a bit okay” I said. Pietro nodded but I can still see the panic in his eyes but it calmed down just a bit.

Everyone by now got out of there shock to see him here. “ _ **Hey Clint can we talk to you privately**_ ” Tony asked. His tone being serious but I just nodded. I walk down the time machine and walk toward Tony and Steve. “What the fuck Barton” Tony said angrily. “We told you to see if it work _not to bring someone else from the past_ ” Steve said a little less angry.

“I’m sorry guys it’s just that I saw him I couldn’t help myself but to talk to him. I promise I didn’t mean to bring him back to the present” I said truthfully. “Well now we have to figure out what we should do with him” Tony said. “Well let’s start with us explaining the whole situation right now” Steve said.

We head back towards the others.

I see that Nat is helping Pietro take in everything. He sees us walk in an we make eye contact for a few seconds before he pays attention to Nat again.

“Okay guys we have to explain to quicksilver over here what’s happening” Tony said.

Everyone looks at him and nods.

Then Steve started to talk “So kid this is way past your timeline but anyways. So what’s happening is that there was this big threat called Thanos. He managed to _kill all half of the living universe_. We’re the only living heroes alive. Five years later from that disaster Tony found out a way to time travel back in time to get what we need to get everyone that got snapped away back. That’s just a _short_ run down” Steve said.

He just stares probably still confused but nods anyways. An awkward silence lingers but I can’t do anything about it.

“Hey Pietro I’ll show you around the tower” I asked. He nods again. I take his hand and walk out of the room with him not looking at the others faces.

As we walk father away from time travel machine place I stop walking. Then I face Pietro so I can talk to him clearly.

“Hey I never intended this to happen but it did and I’m so sorry you have to be stuck here. Especially with us since you barely even know us besides from what you know in your own timeline” I said. “It’s okay Clint. It’s fine if I stay here it doesn’t really bother me as much as I thought it would. Even if I would ‘ _technically_ ’ be leaving my sister behind. She’s alive in this timeline right” he asked worriedly. “Well _not_ _exactly_ but we can bring her back. I promise Pietro that we’re going to bring her back. That’s how I went back to when Ultron attacked in Sokovia. I went to go test out the time machine to see if it worked” I said. “Okay I’m putting all my trust into you Clint” he said.

“One more thing can I ask why did you hug me when you saw me and why did you say _I’m sorry_ ” he asked curiously.

When I heard those words come out of his mouth I couldn’t help but freeze up. This isn’t a good time but if he wants answer I’ll give it to him.

“It’s umm a-just. It’s that I-I re-remember something tha-that happened t-to you when Ultron a-attacked” I couldn’t help but stutter think about him _dying_ just to _save me_. Why did I have to stutter as well just _say it._

“In our timeline. I was helping civilians get to safety. That’s when I saw a mother and her child stuck. They couldn’t move from the spot they were in because they were too scared to get shot or killed. I help the mother first not noticing that she had a child. So when I realized she had a child I went back to help the child. I was getting ready to go back to the ship where the civilians were safe. But then Ultron commanded the bots to shoot at us. The kid and I were exposed I was ready to risk my life to save the kid. I closed my eyes ready for the bullets but I didn’t feel them coming. I-I open m-my eyes to see y-you in front of me with b-bu-bullet shots everywhere. Y-you d-died in my timeline Pietro. I-I took you a-away f-from your s-sister. It’s-it’s my fault that the Pietro in my timeline isn’t here with us” I could feel myself tearing up but I wouldn’t cry in front of him _would I would I._

I looked up at him to see that he’s shocked by what I said. I mean I would be too if I were him. I couldn’t help but mutter a _I’m sorry_ again.

I’m sorry for a lot of things but this this one thing I’m _**absolutely**_ sorry about I took someone so young their life away because I was stupid not to plan ahead.

“If I died like that. That means that I wanted to do it. It wasn’t your fault Clint. It never was your fault to begin with. I sacrificed myself so you could live not for you to hurt yourself even more” he said sincerely. “Yeah I know but I couldn’t help but think about the worse”I said. “It’s okay now your here I’m here” he said while holding my hand and bringing out foreheads together.


	2. In The Meantime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have the day off right before the big day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been like a week so sorry it’s just that I’ve had exams and haven’t had time so yeah
> 
> But at least it’s here 
> 
> Anyways feel free to leave kudos and comments

We head out from the room to go back with the rest of the crew.

“Well while you two were gone we decided to do the time heist tomorrow” Tony said. “But just one thing the kid isn’t coming with us. We talked about it and we all decided that it’s best if he stays here” Steve said. 

I looked over at him to see if he was okay with it. He just looks at me and shrugs like he doesn’t really mind. Well he did just come from another timeline so I guess he actually doesn’t know what we’re doing. 

“Okay” Pietro says. “Okay that was easier then I thought” Tony mutters. “Anyways you guys can rest for today. _Do whatever you want but just know that tomorrow we’re risking everything we’ve got”_ Tony says. 

After what he said he left the room probably going back his house to tell Pepper what he’s going to do.

“Come on let’s get you situated here I guess” I said to Pietro. He nods and follows me to the guest bedroom. “You can stay here for now. After we finished with this whole mess we’ll figure out where you can stay _permanently_ ” I said. “Can I stay with you though” he asked. I looked at him confuse for a moment then I softened me expression. “It’s just that when I was with Wanda we would always sleep beside each other. It’s okay if you don’t want to though” he muttered looking down being embarrassed. “Yeah it’s okay” I said. 

He looked up and smiled at me. I could feel something in me _turn_ when I saw that smile. That smile felt like it could easily take away all my worries. Even if it’s cliche to say but _I want to see it more._

But this is what I missed when he was _gone_. It’s _my fault_ that he couldn’t keep smiling like this. _I took everything away from him and Wanda didn’t I._ I need to snap out of this. Like he said already it _isn’t_ my fault I just need to accept that. Whatever just lead him to your room okay. 

“Alright come on then” I said. We walked down the hallway to my room. 

Well _fuck_ there’s only _one bed_ so how is this going to work. “So how are we going to sleep” I asked. “Well I mean I wouldn’t mind if we shared the bed” he said. That could work but wouldn’t it be a bit awkward but whatever just work with it. “Okay yeah sure that can work” I said. 

He settles down on the bed and I can see him drift off to sleep already. 

Then again he did just come back from _fighting a bunch of bots._

I go over to him and pull the covers on top of him to keep him warm. I take a look at him while he’s asleep. He’s _beautiful._ I can’t believe he’s _real_ and _alive._

I feel tears falling from my face I couldn’t help but say another I’m sorry. I lean down and kiss his forehead to make sure he’s really alive and here with me. And he is. I’m glad he’s here. 

I go over to Nat to go over the plan again. “So first we’re going to drop off Rhodey and Nebula at Morag. Then we go to Vormir to get the soul stone” I said. “Yep that’s right” she said. 

“You better get training cause this is going to be hard to pull of” she said while putting her hand on my shoulder. “I’ve already had enough training over those five years” I joked around. “Clint _we’re going to get your family back._ We’re going to do everything in our power to get everyone back. I promise” she said look straight into my eyes. _“Yeah I hope so too”_ I whispered while holding her hand. 

I go back to check up on Pietro to see if he’s awake.

I open the door and I see him still asleep.

I guess I should also rest for a bit. So I change into a tank top and some sweatpants. 

As I get into bed I couldn’t help myself but think of _Laura_. I’ve never slept with anybody in a bed besides Laura. But honestly it didn’t feel weird to be sleeping with someone else other then her. Yeah this should be _bad_ but it doesn’t feel _bad_. 

I settle on the bed and leave the worries I have to the back of my head.

I couldn’t help but put an arm around Pietro and pull him close to me. “Mmmm” he muttered. “Go back to sleep” I whispered in his ear. I nuzzled my face onto his neck. I don’t know why I’m doing this. But I know this is bad but I can’t help myself but do it. 

I close my eyes trying to sleep while holding Pietro. I feel myself drifting off into the haze of sleepiness and I let it take over. 

I feel myself back at the _farm_. My hands are on top of Lila’s which are on a bow. 

_No no no this can’t be happening not again. It’s like my body is moving on its own. Make it stop please make it stop. I can’t go through this again not after I’ve already witnessed this too many times._

Lila let’s go of the arrow and hits a bullseye. I give her a high five and she goes to retrieve the arrow.

_I know what’s going to happen. Wake up this is just a dream. Wake up please. But I can’t wake up._

I witness my daughter turning into _dust_ again. This has happened so many times I can’t even count. But I still wake up a mess like the first time this nightmare happened.

I turn around to see if Lila is there no luck. I start screaming her name to see if she’s there but she’s not and I know she _isn’t_. I look to see if Laura and the kids are there. _They aren’t there._

I scream their names trying to see if they’re here. But they _aren’t_ and _I know that._ This can’t be happening not again. I slump down to my knees as I cry into my hands knowing that they’re gone.

I wake up holding Pietro too tight as I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I let go of Pietro an sit up. 

I’m trying to calm down I really am but I can’t help but feel _awful_. I hate that I have to relive my family dying almost every fucking night. It’s _tiring_ it really is. It’s _emotionally draining_ seeing the ones you love die right in front of you over an over again. 

I feel Pietro moving around on the bed. Well I guess I woke him up. “Hey Clint are you okay” he asked worriedly. “Yeah just had a nightmare. But I’m fine now” I said. “Okay. But we can talk about it anytime” he said while hugging me. “Okay” I said. 

“I feel hungry let’s go eat something” he said changing the topic. Fuck that’s right he hasn’t had anything to eat this whole day. “Alright let’s go” I said. 

We get out of the bed and head to the kitchen. Turns out the rest of the team are also eating. Guess we came just in time. 

I get two plates one for me and the other for Pietro. I take my seat beside Nat while Pietro takes his seat beside me. 

Since it was around dinner time they had steak with some pasta and vegetables. I grabbed myself some steak and pasta leaving out the vegetables even though I know I need them. Pietro on the other hand got loads full of all three things. Well then again he must have really fast metabolism when he’s literally called quicksilver. 

“Hey kid what do you want to drink” I asked while getting up to pour myself a glass of water. “I’ll have water as well as you thanks” he said. I grab another glass and pour him some water. I walk back to my seat and give him his glass of water. 

From the looks of it everyone is in their own world. After all tomorrow is the big day for everyone. Even Thor with his sunglasses and beer in hand is daydreaming from what I can tell. 

What happens if we can’t pull this off. What happens if everyone dies while trying to pull this off. _There are too many what if’s._ But in the end we have to stay positive about this. We can’t lose hope not when we’re so close. 

While I keep eating I look over at Pietro to see if he’s eating good or not. From what I can tell he’s eating as good as he can. When I’m finished eating Pietro’s already done with his second plate of food. It’s an _understatement_ to say that he can’t eat pounds worth of food in under a short amount of time. 

“Are you done with your food” I asked. “Yeah” he said. I take his plate and mine to the sink and wash them. 

“Want to do some training” I asked. “Sure why not” he said. I get my bow an arrows and the targets ready. While he was on the treadmill taking it steady. But we all know he can go a lot faster.

The only thing he needs to do it build up his stamina because from what I could tell when we were in Sokovia he would get tired very easily. 

After two hours of training we decided that that was enough training for the day. 

“You can take the shower first” I said. He nodded while getting a towel to wipe his sweat away. He heads to the bathroom meanwhile I get my clothes ready for my turn. He doesn’t take as long as I expected him to take.

I get up and go to the bathroom. I get in the shower and turn on the water. I can feel the warm water running down my body. It’s like my body automatically relaxes at the touch of the water. It feels nice even after this long of a day. After everything that has happened today this shower is _truly needed._

But my head wanders over to the _“nightmare”_ if you can even call it that.

Maybe I should talk it out to Pietro maybe that would help. Even to Nat I haven’t talk about it. Yes I trust her I truly do but I just can’t will myself to tell her and I don’t know why. I hate that I’m so _weak_ that I can’t tell anyone beside a teenager/young adult. 

But at least I’m _telling someone._

I quickly start shampooing my hair then rinsing it as well as washing my body as fast as I can. But I still try to take my time to be clean.

I get out of the shower and put on my clothes it’s basically what I was wearing just a tank top and sweats. 

As I walk out I can see Pietro in bed trying to sleep but I can tell he’s still awake.

I put my clothes in the dirty laundry and head to the bed. Guess it’s better if I tell him about the dream/nightmare right now.

“Hey can I talk to you about what happened earlier” I asked. “Yeah sure. Like I said I’m here to help you with whatever” he said. 

“Okay I keep having this repeating dream nightmare I’m not sure what to call it. It’s where I’m at the farm where I live. I’m with my daughter teaching her how to shoot with a bow an arrow. My other two sons are playing while my wife is making lunch” I said stopping for a moment and looking at him. He just nodded encouraging me to continue. I just sighed. 

“My daughter shot a bullseye and I gave her a high five. Th-that’s w-when I turn to my w-wife to tell her what I-I want to eat. I l-look back a-at my daughter but she’s _g-gone._ I tell her name like she was playing some g-game. But she wasn’t. I turn around to see if my w-wife and s-sons are there. _But they’re not there._ I tell for their names like my life depended on it. But nothing came in return” I look up at him and I can feel myself crying. He scoots closer to me to bring my into an embrace.

_“I haven’t seen them in five years and I miss them I miss them so much. I’ve missed you so much”_ I said still crying. “It’s okay. It’s okay I’m here and like the rest of the avengers said they’re going to _bring back everyone_ that’s gone. _You’re going to see them again it’s okay”_ he said so many comforting thing that I couldn’t help but calm down in his embrace.

I let go of the embrace and I rest our foreheads together. “Come on let’s go to sleep for good this time” he said smiling. I nodded laying down on the bed and letting myself drift off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was suppose to post this yesterday but didn’t have enough time oops
> 
> But anyways yesterday I had an exam and today so I hope I did well pray for me guys
> 
> Also next week is like the last week of school for me so I’m going to be posting more yay


	3. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Natasha go to Vormir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some of the details aren’t correct sorry because I haven’t seen endgame since it came out. But I did rewatch it but that was like two weeks after it came out so sorry if anything is incorrect which there is. 
> 
> Any kudos or comments are appreciated

We yes Pietro and I woke up early in the morning because we decided to do the heist early. Well Pietro woke up early with the rest of us so when he wakes up he won’t wonder why he’s alone. 

But then again time works differently in the quantum realm so it won’t be long before he sees us again. 

“I hope everything works out in the end” Pietro said. “Yeah I hope so too” I said while putting our foreheads together. “Well go and save the universe” he said while smiling. “Yeah okay” I said while opening the door. “Please _stay safe_ and you better _come back._ _Okay_ ” he said seriously. “I will don’t worry. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye” I said while closing the door. 

Everyone is putting on their suit getting ready. “You better bring this back _safely_ ” Rocket said while handing me their ship. “I will don’t worry” I said while putting the ship in my pocket. 

We all walk to our positions while banner is getting it ready. “ _Five years ago we lost._ All of us. We lost _friends_. We lost _family_. We lost a part of ourselves. Today we have a chance to take it _all_ back. You know your teams you know your _missions_. Get the _stones_ get them back. One round trip each. _No mistakes. No do-overs._ Most of us are going somewhere we know that doesn’t mean we should know what to _expect_. Be careful. Look out for each other. _This is the fight of our lives._ And we’re going to _win_. _**Whatever it takes.** Good luck_” Steve said. “He’s pretty good at that” Rocket said. “Right” Scott said.

Everyone got in their positions while banner was getting the machine working. 

I know what to expect so I’m ready. I can feel myself getting smaller and smaller I look around me and see the others. 

There’s two paths so Nat, Rhodey, Nebula, and I take the one on the left while the other take the one to the right. 

We zap back to normal and we’re on Morag I get Rocket’s ship out and make it big. I wait by the entrance while Nat is talking to Rhodey and Nebula about the mission. 

When shes finished talking we get in the ship and go to Vormir. I look to the other side to Nat “This is nothing like _Budapest_ ” I said. She looks at me and we start chuckling. 

When we got there we landed the ship near a mountain of sorts. I made the ship small again and put it in my pocket. We started heading to the top of the mountain. 

When we got there we saw a floating figure with a red face well not exactly a face more like a face that looks like a skull. 

He looks at us and says “Clint Barton son of Edith and Natasha Romanoff daughter of Ivan” we look at each other _confused_. “How come you know our names” Nat asked. “It is my curse to know anyone who comes here” the red guy said. 

“Alright well we’re here for the _soul stone_ how can we get it” I asked. “You can acquire the soul stone by _sacrificing_ someone you _love_ ” he said. “Hahah you’re just bullshitting come one now tell us how to get it _really_ ” I said.

“Clint I don’t think he’s lying. Last time Thanos went here to get the stone. And when we saw him in Wakanda there was no sign of his daughter _Gamora_ ” Nat said. 

Well maybe it’s not _bullshit_ after all. But I can’t _lose_ _someone_ _again_ not after what happened. She doesn’t deserve to _die. I do_ out off all of us I _killed_ people I don’t deserve to be _alive_ after everything. 

I get up out of my sitting position “You know we need to get that stone. _Billions_ of people have _died_ because of _Thanos_ and if we don’t get it they are going to _stay dead_ ” she said. 

“Then that means we both know who’s going to _sacrifice_ ” I said “I guess we do don’t we” she said. “I’m pretty sure we aren’t talking about the same person” I said. “Come on Clint for the last _**five years**_ I’ve been trying so hard to find a way to get everyone back. I have to do this I’ve been _waiting_ for this _chance_ and now I have it” she said. 

“Oh come on now” I said. “You think I want to do this. I’m trying to get back your _family._ So you can finally be back with them. I’m trying to save _billions_ of people even you _idiot_ ” she said “ _ **Natasha**_  you _can’t_. I have to be the one after what happened you know what I’ve become. I _killed_ people I need to do this” I said. 

“Well you’re lucky because I don’t judge people on their _worst mistakes”_ she said. “Well maybe you should start doing it” I said. “But you didn’t” she said. “You know what your a _pain in my ass”_ I said while getting closer to her. 

I leaned my head to hers and we’re touching foreheads. This is going to be the _last time_ either of us do this together. _Either way one of us is dying_. “Alright. You win” I said. 

But I _can’t let her die._

I start running towards the cliff “No you don’t” is what I hear right before I get tackled on the ground. 

We start fighting each other of the ground _“Tell my family I love them”_ I said. “You tell them _yourself_ ” she said. 

She gets off and starts running towards the cliff. I get my bow and get an arrow that explodes and shoot it near Natasha’s feet and it explodes. She gets knocked off balance. 

I start running towards the cliff. We make eye contact for a second and I jump. But as I jump I hear _footsteps_. She’s  _stubborn_ as ever isn’t she.

As l jump off I see her there with me _shit_ doesn’t she know when to stop. 

I get one of my arrows and shoot it to the top of the cliff and grab a hold of her wrist. 

“Don’t do this” I said. “I have to if not _billions_ of people _stay dead_ like I said” she said. _“I can’t lose you too”_ I said. 

_“It’s my time to go Clint._ It’s going to be _okay_. I _promise. It’s okay let me go Clint”_ she said with tears in her eyes.

I try to pull ourselves up but I _can’t_. I try so _hard_ to pull us up but I _can’t_. 

_“It’s okay Clint just let go”_ she says. 

I only have a second for it to go through my head before she kicks herself out of my grip. I try to catch her again but I was too _late_. I stay there crying holding my hand.

Of course _I’m the reason another person_ _dies_. _I’m the reason people are_ _dying_. I should’ve been the one to _jump_ but it _wasn’t_. 

I see everything go light an then it goes dark. 

I wake up suddenly and I look around myself.

Everything is purple my hands are buried in the purple sand I guess.

I can _feel_ something in my hand and it sure isn’t the sand. 

I lift up my hand while holding the _object_. I look at it but I can’t for long it’s the _soul stone._ I couldn’t help myself and I start _crying_. 

She really _sacrificed_ herself. 

_It should’ve been me not her it should have never her to begin with._

I stand up and zap myself back to the present.

“Is _everyone_ back. Is _everyone_ okay” Steve asked. 

I stay silent for second before I responded _“She sacrificed herself for everyone who isn’t here”_ I said.

I hear Banner fall to the floor and hit it. 

As I look up and see Pietro standing there with his face _upset_ and his eyes were starting to _water_. Fucking hell I forgot he was here. 

We all walk off the machine not a single one of us _talking._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes guys I know I’ve been gone for like a month or two sorry I just wanted a break and like school ended June 5th for me. I’m super sorry I’ll try to update more often but here’s a chapter but still sorry guys 😓. 
> 
> Also yeah um the angst part is wrong um I’ll update the tags oops.


End file.
